Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Mars Bitches

April Fools joke? A nod to Dave Chappelle? I'm guessing the former, but either way, somewhere, somehow, Carl Sagan's rotting remains just got a boner.

It appears Virgin and Google have teamed up to send 20 earthlings to Mars, beginning in 2014. And not just any earthlings... YouTube-earthlings. But don't take my word for it; take it from the big, British virgin himself, Richard Bronson:


As you can see, this will not be a joy ride. The goal is colonization. Permanently. On Mars. They've even picked the future "Plymouth Rock" of the Red Planet: the Lunae planum area of the north side of Kasei Valles (wherever the fuck that is.)

Overall, I think it's a great idea. With one glaring exception. Is it just me, or is YouTube the worst possible place to advertise this? Shouldn't they be flyering Harvard, or MIT, or you know, like NASA, or some shit? What caliber of space traveler do they think they're going to attract from YouTube? The most popular video this month (with over 4 million views) is the trailer for Ben Stiller's new movie, "Tropic Thunder". It's not like these idiots are watching lectures about particle physics. Those videos have like 12 views. Collectively.

I don't know about you, but I don't want the "Leave Britney Alone" kid to be the first human on Mars. Come to think of it, I don't want anyone to go to Mars based on a 30-second YouTube video. Imagine some aliens land on Mars and see our YouTube colony! We'd be the laughing-stock of the entire galaxy. Maybe even the Universe.

I'm sure a lot of "planning" went into this and whatnot, but maybe they should call the whole thing off. I'm not comfortable with KevJumba in space.

4 comments:

Jenni said...

Wait...I'm utterly confused. Is this for real or an elaborate April Fool's day plot. Either way, this guy has a bit too much time on his hands.....

Jenni said...

Okay, nevermind. How silly of me.

Evan said...

Yeah, I'm guessing it's an April Fools day prank by Google/Virgin. I didn't look to deeply, but I bet if you poke around the "Virgle" site, you'll find it's a farse. NO WAY Google is spending money to put YouTubers in space.

Jenni said...

I heard that guy has some pretty crazy ideas, like his future plans of sending people to the moon, so this Mars thing wasn't a -big- leap, but bizarre. I wonder how many people actually took it seriously. Scientologists, perhaps.