More Crappy

Pepsi has an illustrious history of nonsensical taglines. After the whole "You've got the right one baby, uh huh, uh huh" thing with Ray Charles didn't pan out, they introduced another slogan: Nothing Else Is A Pepsi. Then, a few years later, the tagline became: It's the Cola. So there you have it. Pepsi: Nothing else is itself, and, it's Cola, in case you forgot.

But this time, Pepsi's gone too far. If you thought "It's the Cola" was vague and stupid, you'll really enjoy their new slogan: More Happy. It's bad enough that Pepsi tastes like crap. But if I have to hear "More Happy" for the next several years I'm going More Kill Myself.

In a pathetic effort to lend credibility to the campaign, Russell Weiner, VP of cola marketing at PepsiCo, notes, "One of the nice things about the word ‘happy’ is it’s really multidimensional."

Multidimensional? Riiiiiight...

'Cause the word "happy" means so many things to so many people. You know, like joy, and stuff.

Oh, I got it! Joy! The Joy Of Pepsi... no... the Joy Of Cola! What? That was already a tagline? Fuck it, just go with "Yep" before someone else takes it.