Presidon't

In my first post ever, I decided Rudy Giuliani wasn't allowed to be President. Shortly after my post--and I can only assume, directly because of it--Rudy was out of the race. I'm still not too keen on this guy walking around among the general public without a neck, but so long as he's not leading the free world, I'll make due.

Then, shortly after I wrote about Mitt Romney's heinous attempt to fit in with black people on Martin Luther King Day, he dropped out of the race. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Today it has come to my attention that another presidential nominee is unfit for office. Now I know it's getting down to the wire, but I feel like I should do something. This one is really awkward, so I'm just going to come out and say it.

Mike Huckabee is a squirrel-eater.

Since you don't hear the term "squirrel-eater" bandied about in everyday conversation, allow me to explain. I don't mean squirrel-eater, like: once he ate a squirrel during a camping trip; I mean it like: he used to full-on roast squirrels in his college dorm room with a popcorn popper. Fucking gross. I know. But here's the proof.


Let's recap. When Tim Russert asked Huck about his rodent-sweet-tooth, here's what he said:

I should say it tastes a lot like chicken, but it doesn’t. It, it tastes like squirrel. It’s not the best thing in the world but, you know, when you go squirrel hunting, you got to do something with those things. And part of it was just to say we could do it. I mean, it was a college thing.

For the record, if you've never been to college, steaming squirrels in a popcorn popper is NOT a college thing. For now, Mike Huckabee is in the race. But when he drops out, you know who to thank.