Yesterday, during a Clinton rally at Salem High School, two protesters waving signs started yelling "Iron my shirt!" at poor Hillary. You know... because she's a woman.
It turns out, these guys weren't ordinary protesters. Nope. They were retards.
Okay, that's unfair. Only one of them was actually a retard. The other was just an idiot. Apparently, some crappy Boston-area radio show that no one has ever heard of called "Toucher and Rich" was responsible. A few of their trusted lackeys, Adolfo Gonzalez, an associate producer, and Nick Gemelli, a mentally-challenged intern, were the brilliant minds behind the stunt. And all things considered, it was a rousing success.
By "rousing success" I mean "somehow no one got tazed".
When questioned, 21-year-old Adolfo told reporters that his name was "Hugh Jas". Which is actually kind of funny, I'll admit. But then, I realized it was probably just a last ditch effort to conceal his true identity, and more importantly, his MySpace page, in which he refers to himself as "Captain Fun" and admits he's a Republican who's never had a girlfriend.
There isn't really a moral to this story. But if any of my readers in the 617 see Captain Fun, do me a favor and yell at him.
"Flip my burgers!" will do.