The Cloverfield Monster

Fanboys haven't been this excited since George Lucas announced The Phantom Menace. Everywhere I go, every time I open a magazine, everyone is talking about the Cloverfield monster, like it's Britney Spears' latest love child. It's (apparently) such a big deal that the trailer has prompted TENS of movie-dorks to break out their spy kits and start looking for clues, as if J.J. Abrams accidentally forgot to cut the monster from the trailer; and as if the fact that no one knows what the "monster" looks like isn't the only reason anyone is going to see this crappy movie.


ATTENTION MOVIE NERDS: This isn't a fucking Where's Waldo book. There is no monster hidden in the trailer.

Alas, the search goes on...

One site--which is particularly hilarious, I might add--is entirely devoted to Cloverfield and the mysterious monster. It's aptly called "What's Cloverfield?" and it's written by "a guy writing about Cloverfield to learn better english" (his words, not mine.)

Below, I've reproduced what is by far the best post on the site. I've also underlined a few sentences which caused me to projectile spew my coffee Saved-By-The-Bell-style all over my keyboard.

You'll have to click the image to read it. It's well worth it.
My favorite part has to be the update within an update that totally debunks the initial update. Keep the dream alive, buddy. English is a tough one to master, but not as hard as comedy... and you've got that down pat.