Leave Me Alone

Scott Amron—designer, engineer, conceptual artist, and all-around asshole—is living proof that humanity has reached the nadir of its existence. On his website, Amron hawks a veritable cornucopia of useless crap, from the famed cork outlet plug, which does absolutely nothing, to a box of dead leaves, which I probably don’t need to tell you, does absolutely nothing.


He provides a picture in case you have trouble imagining what a box of dead leaves looks like. According to his website:

Except for the part about the leaves coming from “real New York trees” as if that were something to get excited about, it doesn’t sound that bad. After all, using dead leaves for packaging beats Styrofoam, which wreaks havoc on the environment. Plus, there’s nothing wrong with adding a little rustic flair to holiday shipments, right?

Wrong. He goes on to say:


For people who’d prefer to skip the merch? Is this guy serious? Are there really people out there, so utterly bewitched by the beauty of fall foliage, that they’d buy a fucking box of it? Sadly, there probably are.

Scott claims his “inventions” dissuade energy use. For instance, this completely useless handy candle screws into a lightbulb socket. It's just like the 18th Century, only uglier!


But wait a second. How is selling dead leaves helping the environment? After all, in order to care about leaves don't you have to live somewhere that doesn’t have them, like on a buoy in middle of the ocean? And isn't shipping a box of dead leaves kind of wasteful, since it requires some sort of gas-guzzling-dead-leaf-delivery-vehicle? This is probably why Al Gore won the Nobel Prize instead of Scott Amron.

Just in case you’re wondering, a box of stupid goes for $7.99. But if you're seriously inclined to spend money on dead leaves, you should probably just spring for a psychiatrist instead.